Highly classified data on so called “Loch Ness Monster” sightings was transmitted to Blue Moon Station in late summer.
Although station’s A.I remained skeptical ( “Are you sure you want to do this Dave?”) the accuracy of the evidence material was so convincing that the situation required close investigation.
I have have packed my monster hunting equipment, my camera, my diving suit and occasional Scottish kilt.
And I jumped into the rocket.
Blue Moon Station was on a mission again.
I have landed on the Loch Ness shore on August 23rd, near the town of Inverness.
This area was had the highest number of “Nessie incidents” reported.
Surely it had nothing to do with two touristic “Nessie centers” located in it’s neighborhood.
I have picked up my Monster Motion Sensor and started scanning the perimeter.
The investigation has begun.
During days of intensive research I found the following:
Ruins of the castle. Romantic and picturesque. Very Scottish.
Lady of the Lake. Beautiful and charming. Very mysterious.
Bunch of tourists rolling on the grass, near ” Keep of the grass” sign. Very American.
Medieval toilet. Simple and stylish. Very medieval.
None of those, although very entertaining, didn’t lead me any closer to the monster itself.
The Monster Motion Sensor was dead silent, satellite scanning from the Blue Moon Stations showed no track of the anything larger than a group of old, fat tourists from Germany.
So I stared at the lake. And started. And started at it for hours…
Was my mission failed?
And then the enlightenment came.
Nessie is a monster, right?
What do they do in all those horror movies when they try to summon the Monster out of it’s pit?
They use this trick. It is called „human sacrifice”.
It works like that :
- You pick a girl – preferably the most charming, innocent looking Beauty in the area.
- You leave her on the altar/chain her up to the large monolith/throw her into the pit…or into the lake.
- You wait for the Monster to come for it’s bait.
Maybe my quest was not that pointless after all?
Now where was that Lady of the Lake…?
And theeeeereeeee she went….
And after few moments, the Monster has arrived.
Huge, shiny and of course very monstrous. Ladies and Gentleman – Nessie:
Mission was accomplished.